I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
smell my finger.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
