4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
