I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
