All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
