There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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