I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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