I don't think brook has ever known best
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
