we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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