Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
