I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
