The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
