we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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