STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize