Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
im six kinds of drunk right now
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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