Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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