What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
