For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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