ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
