Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I need to sanitize my soul.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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