Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
