so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
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