dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
