jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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