shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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