My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize