Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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