i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
