You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
