I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize