I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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