I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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