and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
