dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
