I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
