# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
