the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
