the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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