The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
