i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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