the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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