told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
