im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
