my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I need a beard to bite.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
