OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
