yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
