I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My dick has a subreddit
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
