I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
