are you so shy because you have an std?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
