I've blown a few things in my day
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
