Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
NoShamevember. You game?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Randomize
