Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
