come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
