Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
