Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
