Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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