My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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