Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
he's single and there are thong briefs.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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