There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
