just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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