please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
