She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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