I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The struggles of a small town man whore
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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