Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
