Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
