The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize