We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
