I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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