I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
