in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
