a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
