Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
