i just google imaged poop.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
